The Great Grasshopper War

I am so excited about spring. I have read and re-read my worn Square Foot Gardening book, I have looked fondly online at seeds and garden ideas, till my Darling Husband tells me to give the internet a rest. We have been letting the Chicken Divas out to scratch around the mulch and get any tiny insects that might happen to be lurking around. And, I have a wonderful husband who took the cover off of the hen coop so the girls have a nice breeze.
I happened upon an article while perusing the web and it caught my attention. Apparently, we’re facing a real possibility of have the Great Grass Hopper Invasion of 2010. I remember reading about a grasshopper invasion in the Laura Ingalls Wilder books and so I am not sure what to think of it. Not to make too lightly of the this but I have my own warped idea on the subject.

On one hand – I don’t want my garden destroyed – but then again, it would be nice if I didn’t have to mow this year. Yet, I don’t think grasshopper spit everywhere would be too aesthetically pleasing either. I guess my biggest fear would be the Divas…...

As I have said before, they are terrified of worms; can you imagine what a large grasshopper army will do to them? I don’t think there is a prescription for chicken valium, and I know I won’t be able to stop them coming in by the hordes and getting around the Diva's.

I can’t help but think of a possibly bad “B” Movie with grasshoppers coming in marching across the land  as far as the eye can see...... terrifying my unsuspecting chickens, killing every vegetative thing in sight and then spitting on what they leave behind. What will happen to my Divas? Will they have little chicken Heart attacks or have their own ‘Gone With the Grass’ chronicle? Or will they turn into Valiant and Brave Chickenheart’s and try to save the Damsel in distress (me) and her kingdom (my garden)?

Maybe, I won’t have to worry about it or maybe I’ll just have to get a video camera and make my movie…….

Did I say 5:30?

I am, at times, reminded of certain things. Like Sunday morning at 5:30 am…. While peacefully sleeping on my one day off, I was reminded again why everything is the dog’s fault. Why the dog’s fault you say…. It’s because the Chicken Divas were “Barking” at the geese flying overhead at 5:30 in the morning and quite loudly too. I am sure the neighbors do not appreciate the dulcet tones of a chicken bark or appreciate the talent it takes to accomplish that particular feat. I’m not sure I appreciate their talent at this moment either!!!
I can’t retrain them – you can’t ask them to stop. Duct tape is a bad idea and out of the question. No, it requires that I chase them around the chicken pen in my ducky PJ’s and put them back in their henhouse before the sun is even coming up (did I mention 5:30).

I’m afraid they have lost their 24/7 free time privileges. I think that they will be staying in their pen and only allowed supervised visits into the yard. Until then, we will keep herding the barking chicken Divas inside the henhouse daily and hoping they don’t hear the geese flying north. Cotton over the ears maybe…… hmm……